Needs Review

So, far my book is doing very good. I just need some critique for it, some ideas for lengthening, dialouge, and I'll be ready to publish!

Here is the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Imbzx0VeniLQ0TIMqbVbXMiKmlT7RVkhb1ziGORQDNk/edit?usp=sharing

Thanks!